我回来啦！

按照蜡笔小新的说法应该是“你回来啦！”:)))))))))))))一回来就赶紧来check blog，看见这么多comments，都快美死了。阿姆斯特丹的游记没有，只有一件还算好玩儿的事可以拿来show off一下。

我被安排在了最后一天的最后一个session给最后一个talk，简直跟中了六合彩一样。这还不算，你说我一个作统计的被安排在immunology and biology of malaria session里，这不是成心为难我吗？！这个session里一共有六个talk，贴俩题目出来看看大家知不知道是说啥的。

Plasmodium falciparum infection causes pro-inflammatory priming of human Toll-like receptor responses

Mannose binding lection deficiency and severe malaria

我要讲的是mixture model for analysis of immune responses in epidemiological studies。除了title里有一个词immune还算和这个session沾边以外，压根儿就跟biology没关系吗？！就算conference science committee里的人allocate talks by random permutation，把我划归到immunology and biology of malaria里的可能性也太小了呀！

我使劲反省了一下，从我上小学开始到收到abstract accepted notice为止，我不记得我认识这次conference science committee 里的什么人呀？更别说得罪了谁了？这是谁给我穿这样的小鞋呀？！小心本天使怒了，跑上帝那儿给你们这些老头子告状去！可是找不着是谁害了我，也只能一个人生闷气。

既然拿science committee没啥办法，只好自己想辄了。于是就有了这个我自己洋洋得意的open remark.

Thank you very much for staying until the very last minute of the last session of this lengthy 5-day conference. It is an honor to me to have this chance to present this work here, especially at this session! I think this talk will be either very refreshing or very confusing. When I got the message from conference secretary telling me that my talk is allocated to the session of immunology and biology of malaria, I was a little surprised and worried, cause this talk has nothing to do with biology, it is about statistical method to analyze immunological data. After listening to the previous talks, I feel like I am a martin landed on earth. I am totally lost. I think my talk might have the same effect on you. However, I will try as best as I can to keep the talk refreshing but not confusing. And my fellow speaker consolidated me that “at the end of the conference, people are expecting fireworks. So don’t worry about your talk.” Now it is even better. You don’t get fireworks, instead, you get a martin. Before this lost martin find the way out of this room, let’s go through some news clips from Mars.

……………… (the talk)

After the talk, the chair asked, “any questions?”

Silent……

Good! I must have done a great job confusing people on earth, so no question. Actually, it is a pity, I have another joke waiting for the first audience who dare to challenge me.

“Before you ask the question, can I have my last word? I find people on earth have been very friendly so far. So please keep this good tradition. Be kind and no hard question. Otherwise, I will be heart-broken and never come back again!”

写blog惯出来的贫嘴的毛病都带到conference去了......